The Angelic Doctor, St. Thomas Aquinas, said lust causes blindness of the mind. Thus came the joke about masturbation, "Dad, can I just do it till I need glasses?" In this month of May, the month of Mary and my 27th year of celibacy which She graced me with, and for the sake of a new friend, "Harvey Erickson," I tackle lust once again.

Why is lust so bad? Isn't sex a normal, natural urge, and isn't repressing what is natural going to cause grief? Is sex really a terrible sin, the sixth of the ten commandments, which will bring the wrath of God upon us unless experienced only as the Church prescribes? Where is the sanity here? Sex good - sex bad. There are two sides to the argument. On one, only sex in marriage is good, and then, the Holy Father added, you're not even supposed to have lust. On the other side, there are swingers and hedonists who say if it feels good, do it. There is a righteous argument that the proscriptions against sex were made my men only to control women - hence the double standard.

While it may be true that most of the brauha against sex is to control women, there is another esoteric argument, and that is the one we will mostly address here: Is sex in any way damaging to the pursuit of God? That is to say, does sex in any way obscure, delay, circumvent or in any way mess up the path toward self realization? Can I still attain God and sainthood without being celibate? Can I reach the highest levels of Nirvana, Samadhi, Holiness and Bliss, while maintaining a sex life? When is it ok, when is it not ok, in the pursuit of ecstasy with God? Ah, there's the rub! That is what young souls straining for holiness are scratching their heads about.

When I began the pursuit of God with all my strength, it was around 1967. I hadn't the foggiest idea if sex was a sin or not, but I feared it because of being Catholic. This is drummed into our heads from the age of Catechism - for me six years old - that we mustn't have "dirty" thoughts. (I mustn 't think this but I am...what of the kids who are being molested by Dads, Uncles, Grandpa's and sundry others, like priests? The 50% girls and 25% boys as statistics show? How could they avoid dirty thoughts when being molested?) My dirty thoughts developed soon. You carry this all your life as a Catholic, as it is solidly entrenched in your brain like a tattoo.

Even though I have practiced celibacy for many years and have certainly pursued and attained God quite well, I still cannot answer every question glibly. I can pose to you what I know and what I believe, and you draw your own conclusions. Now, not knowing if sex was a sin or not, I decided the safest route was to avoid it and end it if possible. Easier said than done. Around that time, I tried to practice celibacy. Men disagreed with me. One in particular, who was my "yoga guru" of sorts, insisted I do it with him or he would not teach it to me! There went celibacy. But it was a task, not a pleasure for those two years or so while "learning" yoga. I did not learn yoga from him - but in his own con- man way, he got me started. I left him and continued the pursuit of yoga, which at times meant eight hours a day of exercises, which I invented myself through books - whatever I could find. In those years I turned my back on Catholicism, which I'd one day get back to. To cut to the chase, it took me eleven years of trying - 1967 to 1978 - before Holy Mary appeared to me and suggested I take the vow. This meant that I was ready for the vow, ready to take it and keep it, or else She would not have appeared to me. I thought about it for five days and on that fateful day of May 27, 1978, I took the vow on my knees to Her. She gave me the grace to keep it. In 1990 God spoke to me from within and said that if I wanted to quit celibacy, I could. I chose not to. For a while I thought about it but noticed that anxiety was on the rise. The sex hounds were gathering around me as I pondered. I was getting more and more uncomfortable and decided that celibacy was something I wanted much more than involvement with sex. And there I stayed. Even through my twelve-year engagement to Richard, and our two year marriage, we never had sex. And that suited him as well as myself, because he feared God.

Now I will channel Holy Mary and will ask Her pertinent questions about sex, as She is my mentor in that department. I feel She will especially speak to me today as it is Mother's Day, May 8, 2005.

RASA: Mother, can a soul who seeks the highest union with God, which in the east is called Enlightenment, and in the West Sainthood and Contemplation, continue a life of sex?

MOTHER MARY: ALTHOUGH IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE, THE SOUL WHICH MAINTAINS ANY ATTACHMENTS TO THIS EARTH IN TERMS OF DESIRES WILL FIND IT MORE AND MORE DIFFICULT TO ATTAIN NIRVANA.

RASA: OK. I hear you. When is it not impossible? In what case can a soul still do sex and also attain highest union with God?

MOTHER MARY: WHEN A SOUL IS HEADED FOR TOTAL AND PERFECT UNION WITH GOD, SUCH AS YOU HAD IN LATE 1981 AND 1982, IT CEASES TO WANT ANYTHING ELSE BUT GOD. IN SUCH A CASE, SEX MAY BE FORCED ON THE PERSON EVEN THOUGH SHE OR HE DOESN'T WANT IT. FOR INSTANCE, IF ONE IS MARRIED OR SEX IS PART OF THEIR PROFESSION, OR SOMEONE FORCES THEM TO PERFORM AND THEY HAVE TO AGREE FOR SURVIVAL. THEN IT IS NOT THE THING ONE WANTS OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL, AND IT IS A PENANCE, NOT A PLEASURE. WHEN YOU COME THAT CLOSE TO GOD, ALL THE DESIRES OF THE FLESH AND THE WORLD MUST CEASE AND THEY DO CEASE, OTHERWISE, THE VISION WILL NOT HAPPEN.

RASA: That seems pretty clear to me. In the final stages, the definition of Union With God or Perfect Oneness with God automatically removes, casts out and obliterates all desires not of God. Is that correct?

MOTHER MARY: That is correct. To attain this kind of Union is so difficult, such a miracle, that you could not do the one without the other - you could not have the miracle without all other desires ceasing.

Rasa: I think you have made it clear. Now what about the aftermath of the Vision of God? What happens to celibacy then? Many people begin to lose it as the Vision of God fades away. Celibacy is best practiced during times of strong grace and Light, but afterward, human nature sets in. What does one do with the body then?

MOTHER MARY: You must always understand that you get closer to God all your life. The Absolute Vision of God as you saw in 1982 only increases. You will see more of God if you persist and insist on keeping Holy throughout your life. Your personal sanctity - which is keeping yourself spotless and pure for the love of God - will draw you to higher and higher reaches of God. Your vision will go up and down, increase and decrease, but always moving toward better, clearer, closer vision in the end. If you degenerate and give in to the flesh, then that curtails the vision which continues. There is not one vision and it is over. You saw God face to face, but you intend to see God again and although you cannot imagine seeing any more, there is always more. I will prove this to you. Do you not know that there are many mansions and untold trillions of souls in Heaven? Each one is perfectly happy and each sees God face to face. Yet each sees according to her/his merits, do they not? Therefore, that proves there is no final vision. One soul seeing God face to face sees one vision, but a higher soul sees more of God face to face, and so on. The next time you see God face to face you will see more.

RASA: Mother, I think you are clearing up my understanding now. I had been thinking of Swamis and others who had Enlightenment, and then, they deteriorated into tantric sex. I was thinking sort of, what's the difference? They saw God and that was it? Why not have a little fun?

MOTHER MARY: THESE SWAMIS AND OTHERS PAY FOR THAT FUN. FIRST, THEY MUST BE CLEANSED IN PURGATORY. AND SECOND, THEIR ETERNAL REWARD WILL NOT BE AS GREAT AS IF THEY RESTRAINED THEMSELVES.

RASA:Then restraint is important. Even when one has suffered all their life and repressed sex, they must continue to do so. They should not give in to temptation when they find they are in a place of much availability. This will be marked against them. This is sin, this is failing the great holiness they are called to. This is a failure of a great test. Is that correct?

MOTHER MARY: YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE YOUR SADHANA AND DISCIPLINE ALL YOUR LIFE, NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT. TO THINK YOU HAVE DONE IT ALL AND IT IS OK TO RELAX IS NOT RIGHT. HOLINESS EXACTS A GREAT PRICE. SEEING GOD ONCE, FACE TO FACE, OR IN THE VISION OF ENLIGHTENMENT, IS ONLY THE BEGINNING. FOR PEOPLE TO THINK, LIKE ONE OF YOUR GURUS, THAT THAT IS IT AND NO MORE IS POSSIBLE, IS FOOLISH THOUGHT. EVER MORE AND MORE IS POSSIBLE AND PROBABLE, IF YOU WILL MAINTAIN YOUR SADHANA AND DISCIPLINE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. THOSE HOLY SOULS WHO FALL DOWN WILL PAY DEARLY FOR THEIR FALLS, IF THEY DO IT DELIBERATELY.

RASA: Mother Dearest, this is the first time I am a guru with devotees. I am wondering if I should ask them to be celibate, or at least try. What should I tell them?

MOTHER MARY: TELL THEM THAT IF THEY WANT THE FINAL VISION AND TO REACH THE HEIGHTS, THIS IS SOMETHING THEY MUST DO. OR ELSE, THE CHANCES OR NILL THEY WILL GET THERE. IF THEY WANT IT BADLY ENOUGH, THEY WILL DO IT.

RASA: Some of these souls are fairly young, like 35. What does a 35-year-old male do about sex, who also wants Enlightenment?

MOTHER MARY: REMEMBER, MY DAUGHTER, THAT YOU WERE IN YOUR EARLY TWENTIES WHEN YOU BEGAN TO STRUGGLE AGAINST SEX. SURELY, A MAN IN HIS THIRTIES COULD DO THE SAME. IT ISN'T GOING TO KILL HIM. PEOPLE MAKE TOO MUCH OF IT. IT IS A GREAT SACRIFICE IF YOU ARE SO USED TO IT. BUT AFTER YOU GIVE IT UP YOU REALIZE HOW UNIMPORTANT IT IS AND HOW MUCH GOOD COMES FROM NOT HAVING LUST. THEY SHOULD TRY AND PRACTICE CELIBACY FOR LONGER LENGTHS OF TIME UNTIL IT LETS GO OF THEIR MIND.

RASA: I am really glad you said that. I suppose I should ask each devotee what their goal is. Do they want to reach Enlightenment and seeing God face to face? I should ask them. What if they give me that old chestnut, "Can I just do it till I need glasses?" In other words, they want it halfway. They want to see God, but perhaps not face to face. They want an intermediate vision of God and they want to hold onto sex. What then?

MOTHER MARY: YOU SHOULD NOT BOTHER WITH MEN OR WOMEN LIKE THAT. HONESTLY, THEY WILL BRING YOU GRIEF. THEY CANNOT ENTER THE INNER CIRCLE OF DISCIPLES. ANYONE WHO WANTS GOD IN HALFWAY MEASURES, HOLDING ONTO THE FLESH AND THE WORLD, SHOULD STAY OUTSIDE THE INNER SANCTUM, AND SHOULD NOT HAVE DAILY ACCESS TO YOU. YOU HAVE SUFFERED TOO MUCH TO HAVE PEOPLE LIKE THAT NEAR YOU. LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH AS IT IS. I KNOW SOME WILL FALL AWAY BECAUSE OF THAT, BUT THEY WILL HURT YOU IN THE END. MAKE SURE THEY UNDERSTAND THIS IS NOT ABOUT WORSHIPPING YOUR BODY, BUT ONLY ABOUT FINDING GOD INSIDE THEIR OWN SOULS. GET RID OF THE MEN WHO THINK IN TERMS OF YOUR BODY OR THEIR BODY, OR SEX.

YOU HAVE NOT COME SO FAR TO WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THESE MEN. THINK OF RAMAKRISHNA AND HOW SERIOUS HIS BAND OF MEN WERE. THEY WERE ALL CELIBATES, OR TRIED TO BE.

RASA: Mother, lately I have been talking with someone a lot about a Swami who I call "Mucktup" who got involved with tantric sex at the end of his life. He was doing sex to a lot of young women in the ashram. What do you think of this and what do you say about tantric sex, which is now like a fad in America.

MOTHER MARY: ANYONE WHO HOLDS HIMSELF UP AS A GREAT SWAMI AND GREAT PERFECTED SOUL AND THEN ABUSES THAT PRIVILEGE BY HAVING SEX WITH THOSE WHO CAME TO HIM SEEKING ENLIGHTENMENT, THAT MAN WILL PAY FOR HIS SINS BEFORE GOD. AND THE FUN HE THINKS HE HAD WILL NOT BE WORTH IT. ADVISE ALL THESE MEN TO GIVE UP THEIR LUSTFUL THOUGHTS AND DESIRES, AND SACRIFICE FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD. THEY NEED EXORCISM, AS THIS IS THE WORK OF SATAN, CONTROLLING THEIR MINDS. ABOUT TANTRIC SEX IT IS ONCE AGAIN, SATAN USING THE FLESH FOR SEX GAMES, AND MIXING SEX INTO RELIGION. IT ISN'T HOLY AT ALL AND CANNOT BECOME HOLY, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE THINKS. HOLD YOUR LINE ON THIS ONE. LET NO ONE DETER YOU ON HOW EVIL IT IS. ADVISE ALL YOUR ADHERENTS TO STAY AWAY FROM THIS.

RASA: It seems quite clear to me that there are no halfway measures when it comes to Union with God and the Vision of God. Do you have any advise for those who are married or to those who feel they simply cannot quit having sex? What can they hope for in the Kingdom of God?

MOTHER MARY: CELIBACY IS FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO BE HOLY. MARRIED PEOPLE CAN STOP HAVING SEX AND TURN THEIR HOME INTO A MONASTERY. AS FOR THOSE WHO WANT GOD IN HALFWAY MEASURES, THEY WILL RECEIVE IN HALFWAY MEASURES. THE MORE YOU GIVE UP FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD, THE MORE GRACE YOU ARE ABLE TO RECEIVE. GOD CANNOT FILL A SOUL THAT IS STUFFED WITH DESIRES AND ATTACHMENTS. EMPTY YOURSELF, AND GOD WILL FILL YOU UP.

RASA: Can you explain exactly how, Mother, lust and attachments deter the soul from the Vision of God?

MOTHER MARY: AS I SAID BEFORE, TO SEE GOD WHILE IN THE FLESH IS NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACLE. IT IS THE GLORY OF GOD. YOU CANNOT ATTAIN THE GLORY OF GOD UNLESS YOU GIVE UP ALL TERRESTRIAL THINGS FOR THE SAKE OF GOD.

RASA: Amen, Mother. Happy Mother's Day!

MOTHER MARY: I THANK ALL MY CHILDREN!