Woman Thou Art God: Do Nondalists Exist?

DO NONDUALISTS EXIST?

Rind, Portrait of the Invisible Man
M.C. Escher

I have had the (honor and privilege?) of knowing three 'nondualists.' The verbal mind games and psychological warfare they wage could be the battle of the century.

First of all, they all tell you they 'don't exist.'

'There is no me. There is only One. I am an illusion, created by YOUR OWN MIND. You say I am this or that, fine, then that is what I am IN YOUR MIND.'

Meanwhile, I am trying to interview these people and figure out where their head is at.

First there was 'Lama Dorky.' Oh, what a Himalayan cutie he was. He yelled and screamed at me, all the while saying he had no emotions, no desires, no ambitions or ego. He'd get mad when I spoke to his wife on the phone, saying she had work to do. Then when I wrote articles on male-female relationships, he said 'there is no gender,' we are all 'One.' Methought when he got into bed with her, he did recall that he was male and she female.

Ambitions? Desires? Ego? He told me I was 'still in ego,' but I should promote him, so he could get his glorious message to the public, and then hinted about bringing him and family to the good ole' U.S., so he could fulfill some of those ambitions he didn't have.

My wallet groaned 'no' and I threw Dorky to the curb.

Next came 'Swami MammaZeeba.' Swami was perhaps the smartest one of them all. She knew how to play verbal baseball better than Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle put together. Every word I said was used against me. As I asked strong questions, my motives were suspect. I was 'lashing out' due to childhood problems. Then I was 'twisting,' and 'putting spins' on everything. Then I was 'justifying' and wheeling 'reality' into pretzels in order to keep ego alive.

She had more contortions than a boa on a water buffalo. As I tried to wiggle out of accusations, she'd pull tighter and tighter, saying how much was wrong with me, and always ending up with the edict,

'You are in ego... I am in the highest state there is.'

Like Dorky, she also had 'no ego, no desires or ambitions, no emotions.'

She was in the eternal 'now' all things being the same at all times. Nothing would ever change. Would she be as happy if she lost her ministry?

'Of course. Nothing ever changes. I am happy no matter what.'

But then, all was not right at Lake Woebegone. The ministry was not flourishing. All her work not appreciated, she not valued. She complained bitterly, in public, castigating all those she had helped.

'So what?', I thought. 'You said it didn't matter. You said you have no desires, no ambitions, don't suffer and are always happy. So why are you complaining?'

And last but not least, the nondual 'Wizard of Oz.' I found him to be the funniest, most charming but baffling clown of a yogi. Right off the bat, he called himself by the third person (a common trait by those who want to confirm they are Enlightened.) So W.O. only speaks of himself, as The Wizard, never 'I, me or my.' So they, these nondualists, live in the eternal now, the infinite world, the world of true reality, and all us poor slobs live down below in the dirt. They talk, and talk and talk, of slowing down, of living in the moment, of not being on 'real time' but 'God's time,' and they never, ever tell you about their mortal existence. Family? It's there but they pretend it isn't. Friends? All having to do with God and work, no such thing as a good old handshake or friendly get together. Nothing like Jesus and Lazarus and Mary Magdalene. Just souls for God, no bodies there, and all that.

They do not tell you of faults, or sins, then and now. They aren't 'human,' you see.

'It is all gone.' they say.

Like the cop who arrests you and says,

'All that you say can and will be held against you,'

They figured that one out. Say nothing and you are safe . Don't let them have any hooks they can hang your flesh on. So this person could be married but 'there is no gender.'

After listening to the Wizard for a while and being impressed with his version of Reality, the truth came out in a small incident. A friend, joking with him, produced a tiny insult. Not even meant for him.

He groaned, and groaned and groaned. This man of no ego, no feelings, waxed and waned, licking his wounds for days like my dog when she banged her paw.

I called him to task and he whined some more.

'You say I am hurting....you say I am complaining and suffering....but I am pure bliss. I have no negativity.....it is IN YOUR MIND. It is others who believe I exist, but this W.O. is not here, they only think he is here and they are trying to hurt him and they could hurt him if he was here, but he is not here.'

Finally, it was my turn to groan. How did I get into this? Scratching my head, I thought,

'Why don't I just forget it? Why bother with these people. After all, they don't exist.....They told me so.'

RASA VON WERDER
NOVEMBER 12, 2005

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