DIARY OF A PASTOR
December 20, 2004
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN UNION WITH GOD IN FACT,
AND UNION WITH GOD IN CONSCIOUSNESS

There are two aspects of Union with God. One is not so conscious, and the other is conscious in various degrees. To be in union with God IN FACT is to obey God's commandments, to love God and to do good. Such a person may or may not have mystical union. Mystical union has to do with the INNER FACULTIES OR INNER SENSES. Some people seem to be born with these. But being born with these does not mean they are in full operation at all times. There are seasons of illumination, and seasons of darkness. There are variables in these seasons, such as "Indian summer" in the fall, or especially warm or cold days in winter. In the same way, God appears or disappears to our inner senses. To be in union with God in the mystical sense requires more than being good. One needs to actually WORK on communicating with God through centering the faculties on God (concentrating or focusing the mind on God) and by meditation and prayer of a type that shuts out the world and people, and brings God into consciousness. If a person does not have time to do this, or does not want to do this because it is hard work, then there is little chance of a powerful conscious union with God.

The sad truth about mystics is that they are usually people who find little joy in this life, and they have retreated and ascended to THE ONE THING THAT IS NECESSARY. They are the people that were discarded, tossed aside by life, perhaps overlooked, live in poverty of physical, mental or emotional states, the people who suffer the most. (And of those who suffer, that turn to God in their suffering.)

Those who are the happiest in this life (or so it seems) and the busiest, don't seem to have time for mysticism. The family, the friends, the job, the social life, the world and flesh seem to keep them occupied. Is this good or bad? It can be bad. Nobody says you should choose misery because it brings you closer to God, but it seems that in misery we do come closest to Him/Her.

I have been through all states, I suspect; happy with people and life, miserable with people and life. Which was better? During the time of my busiest "happiest" times I learned that the world does not fulfill the soul and people do not have love. That brought me back to God. In my loneliness I learned that God does fulfill me completely, during the times of illumination. After going through much Darkness and much Light, I have come to a place which I believe one must arrive at: the place where you are thoroughly engrossed/immersed with God and cannot be moved - while at the same time reaching out to those in the world and bringing them the LoveGrace God wants you to share. At this point, they cannot drag you down, put you in a shallow or vain place, and they cannot sway you away from God. They might annoy you but they can't destroy you! Now you are an effective minister and you really do represent God. Here is one of the most important secrets I have learned in order to be effective and also happy at the same time: (nobody is asking you to be a martyr now.) Talk with people, communicate, BUT DO NOT WORRY WHAT THEY THINK OF YOU. If you care whether or not they like you, you are fettered or frozen in a shallow place, a place of anxiety. When they need you, talk with them and be a friend. If they forget you, let it go. Do not grieve. Be happy in the little things God gives you or in the miracles God gives you. To be centered in God is to also be centered in yourself spiritually (not by any means in the flesh alone) and to be a whole person, a fulfilled person. This sounds like just words but it isn't. Here I draw on Buddhism: Desire is suffering, give it up and you stop suffering.

If you desire each person you talk with to like you, you will worry about whether or not they do. Forget it. Just talk, be loving and kind, and forget the rest. Be a fountain of love to all (with some reservations, let's not go crazy!) and whatever they say or do - think not of it. Each person is a universe and you can't win them all! Many people think I'm crazy because I talk about Souls in Purgatory, mystical experiences and exorcisms of demons. Some new people I met misunderstood what I was saying and think I am strange, weird and so on, and seem to fear me and avoid me when we are in proximity. I just have to let that go, and be more careful how I word things so they don't get the wrong idea. But if they do think I'm strange, so what? What can they do to me but avoid me? What harm will that do me? I am not for everybody! I refuse to shut myself up in a cloak for fear people will misunderstand me. Am I not the Light (a conduit of God's grace), and the Salt of the Earth? Why hide it under a bushel? I radiate Light, and if the Light is misunderstood, this is temporary. The Light is like seeds that go everywhere, and sooner or later take root. They do not take root in five seconds. It may take a week or even years to germinate. Don't worry. Just radiate Light. Another way of putting it is love everyone. Do good to everyone. If someone is cold and cruel and ignores you, call them. Do not worry what they think of you. Remember the happy nephew and Uncle Scrooge? The happy nephew always blessed Scrooge, and pitied him. (I am not saying this is easy, PRAY for the grace to be like this, because in this grace, YOU will be happy!) Finally, Scrooge came around and joined their festivities, saying,

"Can you forgive an old and foolish man?" (something like that)

I am not sure if I'm big enough to call ALL my "enemies," (By enemies I mean those who it seems SHOULD care for me, but do not...and on another note, it may not be appropriate for one to reach out to all those who hate them...Consider Jesus going to Caiaphas, the High Priest, who intrinsically hated him out of jealousy, and others who hated Jesus because they hated Truth and Love...imagine Jesus approaching them and like some Polyanna, saying, "Hey, friend, how's things going?") But I must not hate them in my mind! (Mary harbored no hate for those who tortured and crucified Jesus...She knew it had to be.) This would cause absolute misery! I will look upon them as Scrooges who need the AWAKENING OF THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!

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