FEBRUARY 10, 2005
PASTOR'S THOUGHTS
HAS EVERYTHING TURNED TO GOLD?

Cobble Hill
Maxfield Parrish

 

My new friend, Gold, deserves a rebuke. First, this is not his real name and I shall never reveal my newfound friends in any way on the site, by name or by any way that identifies them. I change facts around so you will never know who they are - in case you are worried about becoming my friend and that I would spill the beans on you. Speak to me as you would to Mother Confessor.

Gold is one of the few folks I met through this site that I am talking to by phone. But I am madder than a Tasmanian She-Devil that in the two hours of gab, one and a half was about his women! And oh, what women! By the end of this tirade I was wondering if I should just beg off and forget the rest. Finally it ended. I got my fifteen minutes worth in to talk about Church and Mission.
He said,

"You are going to succeed....now I gotta go! We've been talking so long!"

I began to ask myself like what am I here for? To listen to people of the flesh talking about their hang ups? Their immature desires? Since I started this site I've heard a few life stories. One wanted counseling. I wrote of her as "Fran and Joe." I also wrote, inspired by her, "Why Women Love Monsters." This was good. God really wanted to minister to her, and we have. No complaints here.

Then a guy wrote me his life in imitation of Errol Flynn. (See my e-book "The Deliverance of Errol Flynn from Purgatory.) Quite amusing. He asked me to channel Flynn. I did. That ended it. Errol, of course, was pleased that his fans were thinking of him, but he cautioned against following in his footsteps of sin, as look at the suffering those sins caused him. The fan said he would never ask me to channel him again! The dunderheads want to be whoremasters, like Flynn, and they expect me to say, "What a good boy you are?" I am the lady who helped repair for the sins of Flynn, and now I hear from guys who want to do his sins and be congratulated. Very smart.

I am still listening to a man who conveyed to me one of the worst cases of abuse I've ever heard - by the Mom as well as the Dad. As bad as stuff you read in the newspapers. I have learned much from his story and he's become a friend. Of course, he can't help me with the Church work as he's not in that dimension.

Then there was the odd assortment of would-be Romeos who I chatted with for a while but realized they were barking up the wrong tree. We shall not waste time on them here.

Gold was different. He wrote me the most thoughtful, intelligent letters anyone had ever sent me. Not only that, I sensed genuine devotion to Mary and Matriarchy in those letters. I did not quite know what to do with him. But a curious thing happened. He was praying that women would go to my site (I did not know it at the time) and because of that, two young whippersnappers were talking to me. One was nice, the other was there to argue. As I tried to answer one, by a fluke, I sent it to Gold. He wrote me a letter telling more about himself to answer the questions. But I was asking the lady! This is how we became friends - Gold and I. God brought us together.

After many e-mails I decided to take a chance on him, and he sounded fantastic. (I have tried out a couple others by phone, and they had so many red flags and faults, like trying to dominate me, looking at me as a sex object and all that crap, that I could in no way let them enter into my circle of intimates.) But the things Gold told me in the last conversation, and the length of time he punished me with it, deserves a spanking.

Here is a person, from a fine family - no abuse or "bad love," intelligent, educated and with spiritual abilities, and yet, he's hung up on women that can only do him harm. Like too many people, he chooses them for their looks and sex appeal. I have said time and time again to everyone I know - choosing mates for their looks is the road to perdition. Not perdition in eternity, but Purgatory or Hell on earth! I might as well be talking to myself. OK. Take your medicine. God has answered your prayers. You got the sex bombs and all that goes with it. Some of these ultra-glamorous women are damaged goods; they're crazy, and they will make you crazy, given enough time. You started out sane, reasonable, but give yourself a few more years and you will be needing therapy yourself. All that fine upbringing and sanity your parents gave you will be wasted because you will be a basket case, having been taken through the ringer by a string of beautiful women. Is this the way to live? Choosing these women is not mandatory. You could have gotten sane ones. After all, you are not damaged. So far, you're a normal person.
Try and get out of this quagmire before it sucks you into the pit. There is no excuse for this.

The next subject is WHY DOESN'T ANYONE TRY CELIBACY? That would prevent all this shit. And has no one ever heard of mortification of the flesh? That is curbing your desires, not giving into them. The more you give into desires of the flesh, the more the flesh will demand. The more you curb your desires the less addicted and compulsive you'll be.

People do not have the slightest idea how wonderful celibacy is, and they DON'T WANT TO KNOW. They are so stupid; they think that they will find all happiness in sexual intimacy. Just find the right person for sex, and everything falls into place. It doesn't happen that way! It is not the road to happiness, it's the road to addiction.

Mortification of the flesh IS part of the road to happiness. You try and contain your desires for things that give physical pleasure - with no other purpose than that. Fasting is mortification and abstinence from luxury - things you don't need - benefits you a lot. Resisting things like delicious, unhealthy foods, and spending money on unnecessary items are things that bring God's blessings. Disciplining the body by way of health and exercise are things also blessed by God. Now the flesh is more stubborn than a pit bull. It wants what it wants. But you have to insist on doing the right thing. It takes time to control the flesh, but in time, it will obey you. It takes years.

I became celibate at the age of 33. But in order to take this vow and keep it, I first had to prepare for it. It took ten years of trying to prepare for the vow. Out of those ten years, I would abstain from sex for a year at a time, now and then. But I was not strong enough to take the vow. I struggled against the flesh for ten years, and then, Our Holy Mother appeared to me and asked me "Not to have sex with men any more." This appearance proved that I was READY - after a long struggle - to receive the grace to keep the vow; otherwise Holy Mary would not have appeared. I took the vow five days later, and never looked back.

I have done many things to mortify and curb my flesh, and in the short term, it can be torture. But in the long term, it is peace. For a while, before you have yourself trained, there is resistance and conflict and discomfort. But in the end, the body becomes the slave of your will, and not the other way around. Most people, in my opinion, are strung out, addicted, compulsive, and cannot control themselves, because they have not fought hard enough against their desires. It takes years to control the flesh - in all areas - but by little acts of mortification, one day at a time, one step at a time, you gain more and more courage. Finally, you win.

You will not find mortification taught anywhere in the magazines, but just the opposite, because they WANT you to have desires so they can sell you things. Resist the world, the flesh and the devil. Only one thing is necessary. Go for that one thing. Curb the rest as much as you can. If you do not free yourself from the tyranny of the flesh, how well can you serve God and the work of God? How can you pray and meditate? How can you dedicate yourself to a Mission?

 

Rasa Von Werder February 10, 2005

 

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