JUNE 20, 2005
HOW TO FIND A MATE
Heard a couple guys talking about women - both in their early twenties. They were training at the gym. They were talking about females. One guy starts talking about a girl he was getting friendly with and a whole bunch of things about her. The other one said something that caught my attention:
"When I see a beautiful girl I don't even try to pick her up because you know, I don't think I measure up. So I don't think she'll see anything in me and I just hold my head down."
I have observed so many men at so many gyms I have trained at for many years, and it is a book in itself. I can see why they have problems. How they bring pain and loneliness upon themselves, at times. It applies to women as well, but not quite as much.
Men basically ONLY TALK TO THE WOMEN THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH. And like this young man, since he does not think beautiful women will like him, at least, I hope he talks to women that aren't "beautiful."
I felt like taking the young man aside and talk to him, but I did not, for fear he would think I was invading his privacy. Here is the sermon I wanted to give him:
"My friend. Love everyone. Talk to everyone. Do not look at women as sex objects, and talk to only the ones you think you'd like to have sex with. See women as your sisters. Talk to women of all ages, young and old, trim and fat, "ugly" and "beautiful." Something remarkable will happen in your soul and you will be nourished by it. You will begin seeing people as human beings, and not limit yourself to one age, one type of female you can talk to - because that is the one you want to have sex with. If you talk to everyone, not only is it charitable but you will be less lonely and isolated. To speak only to the women you want to have sex with is bad on a few counts. First, it is obvious. All beautiful, sexy women (especially the young ones) get hit on by so many men, constantly. They know what you are after. You are a dog panting for pussy. It is as simple as that. Don't be that dog. Be human.
I learned my lessons the hard way. I was stupid when I was real young also. I learned to look at men as my brothers, and life became more beautiful.
I thought some of the young men at the gym were gay, as they basically ignored me and even gave me the cold shoulder when I spoke to them. But then, after being around a long time I heard them yadda-yadda about girls.
"I tried to talk to this one but she just said hi and turned away? Do you think my earrings and tattoos scared her off?"
"Naw, she's like that with everyone."
There are two young women working at the gym - both beautiful and both about seventeen. There are about thirty young men training that I see all the time AND EVERY SINGLE ONE HITS ON THEM. Do you see the problem here? Can't they see any value in talking to anyone else besides these two girls? Are men human or are they just walking, talking, erected penises?
I used to look at men for sex and it caused me nothing but pain. I became happy when I looked at them as human beings and evaluated them for their qualities other than sex. Men should try that with women.
Rasa Von Werder
June 20, 2005