JUNE 21, 2005
DEVOTEES, CHILDREN, & GURUS
Lately, some new parties have come and I've been thinking about the guru-devotee relationship, in the way it compares to parent-child. The parent takes care of the child, nurtures it, until it grows up. Then the child begins to pull away from the parent - at puberty - and finally (in most cases) leaves. (In some cases, there is an unhealthy dependence, and a child can't seem to tear itself away from the parental relationship.) I have noticed a few things about the growing up of children. When they are little, in most cases, they are bonded to you, the parent. You have a window here to instill in the child everything you can, which includes spirituality and moral values, self respect and love of others and so on. While the child looks to you as the end-all and be-all of security, that window is open. I've heard parents say they wait till a child grows up to introduce it to religion, to let it make up its own mind, but then it's too late. If these matters are not instilled from early on, the mind maybe be blocked for further development. Instead of spirituality, other things may have taken place in the mind of the child. Nature abhors a void, so instead of spiritual concepts, other concepts could have taken hold. This is total spiritual neglect of a young person, and the parent here is to blame.
Once puberty hits, the glands become active and the child is no longer bonded to you as much. By the very nature of biology, the child must think about breaking away and starting its own family, leaving the nest. The windows to you are closed. The child shuts you out, and it must be so, because it will not grow through continued dependency. For good or ill, it must stretch its wings and fly, and if it falls, it falls in trying to live. But it must try. That is why, you must do all you can for a child before puberty - before the need to break away from you occurs.
Now let us examine this in the context of guru-devotee. A person comes to a guru, wanting self -realization or enlightenment. Your job as guru is to guide and nurture that soul until it reaches it's potential. Then what? He leaves. He has to stretch out his wings, and start his own family. He has to then be a guru, and give birth to children. If he stays with you, it is unnatural and non productive. Of course, they can stay in the church or in the vicinity, or stay friends. But they must go their way without fear and without provocation. They must be free!
I do recall that my original guru, of whom I spoke in Gurus From Hell, Part II, Rev. Verna Talbot, told me, in answer to my question, that it would take six years for me to receive all that she had to give me. (Six years is not a long time.) By some coincidence, although I tried to leave her twice, I remained for exactly six years as devotee. I had known her a year before that, but did not pledge myself. A guru is not forever. The guru lives in you, but the guru does not dominate or hold authority over you for the rest of your life...
I have had many gurus, and each one enhanced my spiritual life. You must never hold on to one persona of God, feeling that it is the absolute for the rest of your life. You might have received all that you can - or most of what you can - from that guru, and onward you must go. My first gurus were Jesus and Mary. Although I reached all the highest points a Christian is capable of reaching - which would be oneness with Jesus, and Him crucified, which would be mystical marriage and martyrdom, I still receive from Jesus and Mary. But I do not worship only them. I went into yoga and received from the gurus there, and received abundantly. Since God is infinite, remember, do not get stuck in one groove. This does not mean you jump, like musical chairs, with one week this and another week that. You stick with one guru and one discipline until you have reached its apex. When you have received what is there, rest, and then move on. This is in no way an insult or disrespect to the guru you receive from.
WHY IS CELIBACY IMPORTANT TO THIS BOND WITH GURU?
I have had a lot of experience with teaching young people as a minister and Community Organizer in my area in Brooklyn. I learned that when you had boys and girls together they could not concentrate and you could not control them. The entire time all they did was make goo-goo eyes at each other, play and flirt. It was impossible for them to learn. These were the ones, of course, who had reached puberty. So in the end, I separated them into groups. There were the "Daughters of the Light," and the "Sons of the Light," and they met at separate times. Then there was peace.
The military tried to have males and females housed together, but it didn't work.
Now if a man bonds with me as his guru, and wants to reach Enlightenment, I must be his primary or Number One relationship. All others must be second best. So if he has a wife or steady, means she is second to me. No woman will take that. She will be hurt, as biologically the woman you are with in bed is your number one. That is yet another reason for celibacy. Without it, there is not the proper bonding with the guru. I can imagine that after you reach Enlightenment, perhaps then you could return to a normal life and have a woman or wife. I know that Hindus want you to get that all out of your system first, then find Enlightenment, but to me, God is first and do it first, because only one thing is necessary. What if you die before your time, and lose your chance of finding God? No, do what is most important first, then the other things can follow. After all, we are not in a race to have children. The world is overpopulated anyway. We are shoving out all the room for the other species and polluting the earth at breakneck speed. We could slow down childbirth to relieve the planet.
There are different degrees of closeness to God and intimacy. When I say "celibate" I am talking about those whose commitment is total and who will give up all for that miracle of seeing God. In my quest, if I could find two or even one such person, I could do all I have to do with that person, myself and one employee. A totally committed and capable person,who is giving 100% is more effective than twenty who are lukewarm. The halfway disciples are babies, and they wear me out. They need to be diapered, and breast or bottle fed all the time. You get up in the middle of the night to feed them. They are infants. The church moves ahead slowly when a guru has many infants and no partners.
But a fully committed and capable person - one who is totally sincere, strong and self sacrificing, even if that person has not yet reached enlightenment but has the capacity to do so - this person and I can do miracles. I have not yet met someone like that, but maybe I will. Am I complaining? No, I am happy with whatever God gives me. Even if I have to live without building a church, as long as it is built after I die, that is good enough. After all, Our Bl. Lord had no church during his lifetime, in the sense of having a building, a center, and a congregation. He set the groundwork and it went from there. Our Holy Mother did see the beginning of the church and I'm sure that made her very happy. But mostly, She suffered in the longing to be with her Divine Son and with God. Finally, Her torture was over and She ascended into Her Eternal Glory. They are doing wonderful work from There. I'd be happy with that myself. Whatever God gives me, I am grateful for.
Rasa Von Werder
June 21, 2005