JUNE 24, 2005
THE PEDRO PROBLEM
Land of Cockaigne
New beginnings! Great traffic coming to the site, averaging almost 1,000 people daily, and potential devotees appearing in scores. But all is not Love and Light in Guackamora. You have the Hindu who says I'm stealing from the Hindus, the catty woman who says my appearance"is a joke, right?" Then you have Al and Mo accusing me of improper behavior - doing nudity and making men horny and all that. (We will address them later on.) And then there is Pedro. All of you on this site have seen a whole series on Pedro. Pedro mad because of celibacy. Pedro made because I am "not enlightened." Pedro mad, mad mad. What is going on here? After several attempts at disarming Pedro (he had a man with weapons waiting behind every door I opened) I finally channeled God, and God saith:
"The Pedro problem is one of projection and unresolved conflicts. You represent his mother, or some person of authority, who once belittled him and made him feel ashamed and insignificant. It all started with the celibacy. Poor Pedro just wants to go off and have fun with himself. But there you are. It is the little voice in his head that says,
"Bad Pedro! Pedro must not have fun with sex,"
and that starts the ball rolling. Here you are, the living embodiment of that voice, and arguing with Pedro will continue as long as that little voice in his head keeps talking."
Indeed, I remember one such case at the gym. This guy who owned a gym I shall call "Zuckers" invited me with the free celebrity pass. All I had to do was lift weights and have fun. They do this for people in New York City if you are known as a bodybuilder. But Zucker had a problem. In his mind, I was Mom. Not that I was so old. It's my chest, and my dominating or whatever character, that reminds men of their mothers. Did Sucker love his Mom? He was ambivalent, and because I was "his Mom," in his wretched mind, I either got whacked or I got loved, depending which side he was on that day. He regaled me with words of how crazy Mom was, over and over. Did not explain the details, just exhaustingly crazy Mom. One day he watched me train and joyfully gave me an expensive leather belt - for free. But then, it was time to take promotional photos for the gym. I was ready. But he treated me like a pitiful has-been who ain't got what it takes any more. Wow! Was I angry! I was so angry I cried and did 97 sets that day - breaking all my records. The most I had ever done in the past was about 40 or 50, and the anger with no food but one cup of coffee made me vent 97. And God paid him back for his evil. The young chicks (who were not as good as me) and the studs all went to the photo shoot that Zuck felt would put his gym on the map. These photos were promoting merchandise and would be featured in Weider magazines. While I was crying and lifting weights, these beauties were having their photos taken. But one of the muscle heads stole bathing trunks, another expensive jewelry and a $1,500. watch provided by the agency. The agency would not release the photos till Zucky paid up. End photos, end Zucky Heaven. Karma came back real quick. But that's another story. The dilemma here is PROJECTION. I am who they think I am and they do with me what they would do with the person they think I am, although I am not that person. Capish?
Pedro must find fault with me in order to heal his inner conflict. If I am wrong, then he is right. If I am right, then he's got to be be wrong. So he has to fight, fight, fight me to try and take me off the pedestal - to knock me down. It won't happen, but he is exercising or venting himself on me.
Now we come to Mo and Al, or Al and Mo. They are real men and have a real problem. When Mo first appeared I was "Rasaji," a term of high respect. I smelled trouble. I sensed it. Lots of teachings on Kashmir Shaivinism. I applauded him and the kudos kept coming toward me. How much he loved me, and all that. I let him vent his message. He spoke in public and private to me, and then I asked him if he wanted to be a devotee. Then he started picking on me in all sorts of ways. I kept answering him. The letters kept getting more picky and less loving. In his mind, there was something wrong with me. Finally, after all the love, he wanted himself wiped off the site. He wanted this change, that change, from the letters he had posted. My paid webman kept running to keep up with it and my nerves were frazzled. The webman asked me if he should just wipe the putz off the face of my sites, but I had an ingenious solution. No, just change his NAME from Mo to Mike, and that ends it. What was the Mo problem? Mo only came to show me what he knew. A Hindu/yoga expert, he knew it all. He had everything but humility. And love? That's just a word. He finally told me he could not abide with me because I had secular images - not Godly - along with images of Mary and Kali. Now Mo could belong to the fetish/domination scene, but that didn't make him bad. When he was good, he was very good, but when he was bad, God understood. But when I was "bad" God didn't. Mo never wanted God. Those who want God are hungry for God and will take any decent guru for what they can get out of her. The funniest part of all this is when he made me mad, I was going to turn the wrath of God upon him. He then begged me not to. He had kept saying, "Give me an experience of God!" I told him that experience would soon be the wrath. He begged me not to turn the wrath of God upon him. The funniest thing is that he said he didn't believe in me, but he believed I could do this - or why else why was he scared? He need not have worried. God said to me,
"I don't use my wrath on a mouse."
Now Al was the goddess worshipper, of recent memory. Oh Goddess, I will serve you personally in any way, including washing your underwear," etc.
At first I joked with him, but again, I smell something bad. I tell him to be careful to see the difference between what I am offering and the domination scene, etc. This is about God, and we have to keep our minds lifted up, and we must be spiritual.
Then it comes. It is all my fault. Why do I have the nude photos? Men are men. They cannot control themselves. It is my fault that he is getting horny and all that, because I am doing this. And I cannot blame him, etc. I ask, what about the perfectly normal men who have no trouble with the nudity? After all, it is not pornography. People are not having sex in front of you nor doing salacious, blatant acts. Just innocent naked bodies and soft hugs and kisses for the bridal mysticism. But men will be men. And what is wrong with Al? Al is not looking for God, he is looking for women and sex. The domination/fetish scene is sex, not God. You can call the woman goddess, Kali or whatever you want, but if it is sex you are looking for, you will not get God.
Al left post haste when I told him I would answer him publicly, and he should fasten his seat belt! The answer came quickly.
"Oh, holy goddess, I am out of here! No need to answer me, I will never bother you again. I am leaving your two sites right now. I love you in perfect, unconditional love."
How funny! At the bottom of men (and women) who seek the world and the flesh is weakness - is it not? When the power, the might and the majesty of God comes at them - as Truth- do they scatter!
Here is a whimsical fact. The critical letters are as stimulating as are the kudos. When someone comes at you and wants to whack you on the head, you duck. When they want to hit your legs, you jump. If they punch you in the solar plexus, you tighten your muscles. Whatever way you react, you move, and therefore, your body is stimulated into action. So it is beneficial. On the other hand, the loving letters give you that warm feeling inside, that glow, that makes you feel good about yourself. Life cannot be one or the other, we must accept both for our own good.
Rasa Von Werder
June 24, 2005