RIGHT HAND DEVOTEE
GIVES TESTIMONY OF MIRACLES
Madonna of the Cherubim
ADDS THAT KATHLEEN DEAREST IS TOO HUMBLE
SHE WAS ALREADY A SAINT WHEN SHE FOUND RASA
Hello everyone! Last night I was talking to Beloved Rasa, and we were discussing the fact that I first discovered her website and mailing lists on December 23, 2005. Less than a month ago!
We were trying to put together a timeline, and as we were discussing it, I realized that this project could be a powerful testimony to the power of Rasa's anointing, and especially the process of installing her into one's heart as Guru.
I first encounter Rasa's website.
I didn't know what to think of Rasa and her organization. I was enchanted by her fluid and flexible mixture of Christianity and yoga, and by the fact that her introductory page had pictures of two of my favorite saints: Baba Muktananda and Aimee Semple McPherson. And I recognized that we had independently come to agreement on some unusual ideas in non-traditional spirituality, especially the reality of purgatory. But I felt also that Rasa was a bit dramatic, and because I was a person whose spiritual life was mostly based on ethics and not emotional displays, I didn't know quite what to think of her.
"I'll keep this site in my bookmarks, and look at it occasionally, but I won't get involved." Thus beginning a pattern which will be repeated often in this timeline.
Two hours later, I joined Rasa's mailing list! I couldn't explain why I did it, but it happened. You can join it too, right here:
I leave Rasa's mailing list
In the morning of December 24, 2005, I read my first mailing list messages. I couldn't believe the drama on the mailing list! Rasa and the devotees were getting ready to go to war. This confirmed my belief that this group was just too emotional and dramatic for me. I quietly unsubscribed, planning to never return.
The Christmas Letter
I receive Rasa's Christmas letter to the mailing list, even though it was sent AFTER my unsubscription. Though I can't explain it rationally, I am so deeply touched by the letter that I re-subscribe to the mailing list.
I promise myself that I won't participate in the list. I'm just here to watch!
You can read this beautiful Christmas letter here:
The Deity Wall
I have a wall in my bedroom, which is behind a little shrine table. On this wall, I have about 100 pictures of people who have inspired my spiritual path. Baba Muktananda and Aimee Semple McPherson are already there. I tell myself that I won't put a picture of Rasa on the deity wall until I have participated in the group for awhile.
Two hours later, I have printed a picture of Rasa and put it on the wall! I can't explain why. My rational mind is being totally sidetracked by a level of intuition that I've never experienced before.
All The Things That I Will Not Do!
I have promised myself since rejoining the group that I will never write to Rasa directly, I will never write to the mailing list, I will keep Rasa's picture on the deity wall and will never "promote" her to the shrine table itself, and I will never participate in the Guru Ratings war.
But things just keep HAPPENING. I walk around as if I am in a trance. My rational mind is saying one thing, but my heart seems to be in control of my life right now (and this is something that has never happened to me before).
On December 27, I write a "hello" note to Rasa personally.
On December 28, I write to the mailing list group to say "hello" and introduce myself. I also begin reading Guru Ratings and commenting about the war.
Sometime between the 28th and the 30th, I move Rasa's picture to the shrine table. During this time period, Rasa responds with a short and warm message to me personally, asking me to participate more fully in the mailing list and related activities.
On December 29, I begin to address Rasa as "beloved" in my mailing list messages. But I tell myself that she is not my Guru, simply a spiritual teacher that I admire.
On December 29, I also write a letter to the mailing list, explaining in rather dry intellectual terms about my goals for participating in the mailing list and studying with Rasa. I tell myself that I will not participate in any guru worship of Rasa. She is simply a wise and delightful spiritual teacher, courageous and totally unique, and she will be one of the people from whom I learn spiritual ideas.
On December 31, Rasa writes two sweet messages to me, thanking me for my previous messages and asking if she can put them on the website and cross-post them. Rasa tells me that she loves me. This is getting rather more complicated that I'd intended, I realize. Because I am beginning to love Rasa as a spiritual teacher also…in a way that I have never loved a teacher before! Meanwhile, the Guru Ratings war is getting bigger. I spend all day on the 31st asking myself, "Do I really want to be involved in this?" And yet at the same time, I am reading Guru Ratings and commenting on their evil messages. I can't rationally understand why. It just keeps happening!
How Did This Happen????
By January 1, I am already writing letters to the newsgroup, apologizing for not being home during the afternoon of the 31st to comment on the Guru Ratings war. When did I suddenly become a full- fledged warrior in this group?
On the evening of December 31sr, I ask myself: do you want to make a full commitment to Rasa and the group, or do you want to slow down and just watch for awhile?
I am contemplating this issue while delivering sandwiches to the people in our town who normally receive Meals on Wheels or deliveries from the senior center, because the subsidized meal deliveries will not resume till January 3. I have a car-full of meatball and ham sandwiches, bags of potato chips, cartons of milk, etc.
On a dark country road, I see a wildcat crossing the road. (A wildcat being a personal totem animal for me.) I immediately recognize that this is Rasa calling me to be her devotee, which she confirms on January 1.
There is no turning back now. The question is answered. Though my intellect still feels frightened by the depth of my sudden commitment (in less than a week!), I steel my nerves and choose to follow my destiny.
MORE JANUARY 1st
Later on January 1, I have a remarkable spiritual experience, in which my husband's Guru comes to me in a vision, and affirms that Rasa is MY Guru. I hadn't wanted to use the word "Guru" because it seemed so PERMANENT, you know. I was thinking more in terms of student and teacher, or even devotee and teacher. But when my husband's Beloved talks to me from Heaven, accompanied by signs and wonders, I have no choice but to accept the Guru relationship with Rasa. Once again I choose to put aside my intellect and follow my destiny.
Read about it here:
"GO TO HER, YOU'VE FOUND HER", SAYS A GURU FROM HEAVEN OF RASA
Today is JANUARY 19, 2006, as I write this timeline. As you can see from the first part of this timeline, I had gone from "no way, no never, I am NOT getting involved with this Rasa stuff!" on December 24, to the point where I was a full-fledged devotee (and Rasa was already calling me a matriarch and a mystic!) by one week later on January 1.
From here, things are more difficult to place on a timeline. Because the next three weeks (January 2 until today) are like a whirlwind. Below I will list a few dates and specific incidents, but the real magic is happening behind the scenes.
I am not the same person that I was on December 31, 2005. When I consider the changes in my heart within the last few weeks, part of me feels shocked. But I am also very grateful and very very happy. I don't want to be the person whom I was in December of 2005. She was a lovely person, very kind and charitable and loving… but she is merely a human being, trying to do her spiritual work using her own strength… trying to guess what is the right thing, and doing the best that she can.
Now, three weeks later, I am part of such a swift and certain movement of the Holy Spirit, given the knowledge and strength from Above to fulfill God's will with assurance AND (selfishly enough!) with blessings and comforts that I assumed (in 2005) that I would never have. It happened something like this:
JANUARY 2, 2006: I unofficially "supervise" AntiSarlo while Rasa is doing other things online. Rasa thanks me and asks me to become the official AntiSarlo person. I agree (another "never" is crossed off my list), and for the next two weeks I summarize the Guru Ratings list every day, through the worst and nastiest parts of the war, and through the miraculous results of Rasa's God Army's battle.
JANUARY 3, 2006: I give my photo to Rasa, as a token that I am fully surrendered to her as Guru.
JANUARY 3, 2006: Rasa issues her first battle cry, and I am the first devotee to respond publicly with "let's do it!"
JANUARY 4, 2006: Rasa comments on my AntiSarlo messages, and says that "The Holy Spirit is Upon You" (that's me, Kathleen!) Yikes!
JANUARY 4, 2006: I receive the piercing of the crown chakra in a vision, and I feel that this is my shaktipat-initiation, which I had never received in 30 years as a spiritual seeker. This is the real beginning of my spiritual visions which have continued until this day. Until this time, I was neither a visionary nor a mystic. I was a "karma yogi", seeking God through ethics and kindness toward others. I never wanted spiritual experiences, and had never sought them. So when they began happening, I accepted them as being genuine because they were unsought and unsolicited!
Here's the chakra-piercing incident:
KATHLEEN RECEIVES PIERCING OF CROWN CHAKRA!
JANUARY 5, 2006: At this point, Rasa is getting worn out from reading the Guru Ratings stuff. At her request, my summaries begin to emphasize specific incidents and exact issues. I also begin to work harder on discerning the overall themes behind the daily Guru Ratings activities.
JANUARY 6, 2006: Rasa and I begin to talk occasionally by telephone. This is the night on which Rasa dreams the "Marilyn Monroe" dream, which later becomes a foundational aspect of our battle plans against the Guru Ratings people (and which prefigures Jody's receipt of the Holy Spirit from Rasa). On the same night, after Rasa and I have spoken on the phone, I imagine kissing her goodnight because I know that she has been working hard until almost daybreak. This is the same time as her dream in which I appear as "Marilyn", and in the dream I kiss her!
JANUARY 7, 2006: Rasa and I have a telephone conversation. At this point, I make a conscious decision to "officially" install Rasa into my heart. Yup, at this point, I'd never done it according to the ritual, though I had placed her photo at the center of my shrine table, which to me was a similar thing. For the next three days after the telephone call, I have a continuous feeling of love pouring out of my heart with every heartbeat, which culminates in a VERY enjoyable experience on January 9.
Rasa's shakti -- her anointing from God -- is that powerful! And many of the devotees (not just me, but dozens more!) have had equally incredible experiences after installing Rasa into their hearts. Learn about it here… and do it!!!
JANUARY 8, 2006: Rasa asks me to be a moderator of AntiSarlo, and I once again officially accept this mailing list as my personal responsibility. At this point, the AntiSarlo group is large enough to stand on its own without cross-posting to other groups, so this is a definite transfer of responsibility AND the power to carry it through.
JANUARY 9, 2006: here it is, folks … Kathleen's famous THREE ORGASMS INCIDENT. You know that you want to read about it RIGHT NOW, so go ahead. This e-mail message will still be here when you get back!
EXPERIENCES 3 ECSTATIC
JANUARY 10, 2006: Somewhere in this time period, Rasa begins calling me "General Kathleen", because I'm busy encouraging Mother God's Army via AntiSarlo and the other mailing lists.
11, 2006: During this time period, after talking to Rasa, I begin to teach the
devotees in a limited capacity, through public e-mails and especially via my
comments in the Guru Ratings summaries. Rasa reminds me, at this time, that
I am not only a devotee but a guru myself (something which is difficult to accept,
but I eventually do so… thereby lessening my reliance on Rasa to confirm
everything that I say and do on the mailing lists. So Rasa makes me a moderator
of more lists, in response to this willingness. Just today, January 19, I made
an emotional breakthrough by banning a negative and intransigent member while
Rasa was sleeping in bed!)
JANUARY 12-14, 2006: My husband is home on vacation, so I am less prominent on the mailing lists for a few days. I spend extra time contemplating my spiritual experiences so far, and also the progress of Mother God's Army and the underlying dynamics of the Guru Ratings group. It is sometime within these three days that I get a clear message about the Goons' particular focus on perceiving the world as "unreal" so that they can avoid real spiritual growth. It is also during this time period that I receive a dream about the Guru Ratings war, which Rasa interprets later in the week here:
During this time period, I also accept the fact that my spiritual work has reached a decisive turning point, and that I am to lessen my "karma yoga" in my town, and place the energies into working for Mother God through this church. This is a difficult decision, because my entire self-image is based on being an activist and a volunteer. I spend all of January 15 dealing specifically with this issue in my mind.
JANUARY 15, 2006: I have a spiritual vision in a grocery store, in which my new path is confirmed for me:
JANUARY 15-16, 2006: Rasa receives her vision of Hillary, and begins the "Pray Hillary Into Office" group, which you can join here:
I recognize that this is the exact reason why I needed to make such a sudden change in direction from "local politician" to "global mystic".
JANUARY 17, 2006: Rasa confirms to me that the Guru Ratings summaries can be set aside for now (though goons should be warned, I am still watching you!) We are to focus on Hillary's election as our next goal. I begin having some serious physical health issues, which I decide to just push through in order to work for Hillary. This leads to an unusual series of visions concerning Hillary's "mantle from God", which you can read here:
VISIONS: GOD'S PLAN
JANUARY 18-19, 2006: While talking to Rasa late at night, I have a vision of standing in a local bookstore, holding a smallish dark-red book which is a devotee's story of her/his life with Rasa as personal Guru. We smile together about this vision, but then we decide that it is time for me to write a timeline of my experiences. We were counting on our fingers, and both of us found it amazing that we'd only known each other for less than a month, and that I'd only been a devotee since January 1st!
And so, in response to Rasa's request, here is the timeline of my discipleship so far.
It was difficult to write this message, because it makes me look like a much more important and spiritual person than I really am. Rasa is always telling me (and the group) of my accomplishments, but the truth is that I am nothing -- an empty chalice which can offer no nectar to anyone -- without her grace. Before her grace, I was the "2005 Kathleen": a kind person, a generous and humorous person, but not a spiritual adept in any way. In so many ways, not even a spiritual seeker at all.
And now here I am, the fruit of Guru Rasa's grace alone. I was hardly even the seed of a spiritual person, but miraculously brought to flowering and fruit-bearing by Rasa's shakti.
I know that each and every devotee of Rasa's will become greater than I am, if they are courageous and continue to follow Mother God's will. I have a funny idea about how the devotees will speak of me in the future years, after I am dead and gone:
"Can you believe? She only had THREE orgasms, and everyone thought that she was a great saint! My goodness, now Rasa's devotees have continual orgasms 24 hours per day!"
But seriously folks, it's been one miracle after another… and I don't think that it's finished yet! My discipleship is still a work in progress, because I have so far to go before I can look myself in the mirror and say that I am worthy of Rasa's love for me. And yet, so much has been given to me already. My plea to you is that if you're on the fence, and can't decide whether to accept Rasa as Guru, please do it now. This is a time of incredible blessings for the devotees. Everyone is having dreams and visions, and huge leaps in spiritual growth. So please do join us!
Love and hugs!